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The Day Link became...PART 3The Day Link became a Man and took a Darn Bath for once
Author's Note: Ooh yeah...part THREE of the "The Day Link became..." series! For those of you who don't know, "The Day Link became..." series is a series of parodies. Most of these parodies poke fun at clichéd ideas the badfic writers of the fandom come up with. Part three deals with the fact that, contrary to the fangirl's belief, Link does not smell like Jasmine, or the rolling green hills (even though Hyrule Field doesn't have hills) of Hyrule Field, or Roses or Axe Body Spray; he smells like monster gore, blood; is greasy, grimy and filthy; and no, his hair is not silky. His hair is greasy and all tangled and crap. Sheesh.
I do hope you fannits know that back in the Middle Ages (the time period Zelda takes place in) only Royalty had daily baths. Commoners didn't even have a weekly bath for god's sake. Link wouldn't be very clean.
So yeah, story time!
Zelda was waiting in the courtyard for him. They had an appointment at ar
The Day Link became...PART 1The Day Link Became Evil and Made Ganondorf Angry
Author's Note: Please do not kill me for this. I'm just making something rather humorous out of the upsurge of "Link is evil for some unknown reason!" fics, likewise with the "Link is evil yet there's no reason for him to be but he is anyway!" fics. I'm tired of them, so I'll just poke polite fun at them.
The summary: Link wakes up one morning and decides he wants to be evil. Only problem is, he doesn't have what it takes. Now about that villainous attire…
Link arose from his slumber one Saturday morning in the Kokiri Forest. Stretching and yawning, he got out of bed. He walked across the room, scratching his head and opening his wardrobe, which was filled with several tunics of a variety of colors.
"Hmm," he mused, pushing aside various attire and stopping.
"I feel like being evil today for a change. The only problem, however, is the fact that I don't have any villainous attire to wear," he said, searching throughout the closet-lik
The Fates are Cruel to AngelsThe Fates are Cruel to Angels
By Jaden und Verwelkt
Pure a vengeance of an angel,
So pure and helpless see.
While she sleeps,
My blood runs cold,
The sins I keep.
Before the angel I cry
The silence of our love…
You're just helpless,
I am here to guide you;
Every breath I take
Shall always find you.
No one can stop this love,
Or me breathing down your neck.
With a swift-full move I,
Bite down on your neck.
I pulled you down from heaven,
Pulled off all the feathers from your wings,
Brought you down with me,
Where No One's angels keep.
The suffering I did
Was made all for you;
The lesson that you pay
No longer applies.
You're lying on my bed,
All bloody and broken
And you shed
A simple tear for me;
I love you dearly and they
Won't take you from me.
He cannot find you,
He wouldn't even try…
For now you're my angel…
And all angels die.
What You Are chapter twoChapter Two
Author's Notes: Alright, I've been getting emails saying that they're confused. I knew you'd all be like that anyway, so yeah. Chapter two is going to shed some insight on what exactly happened. No one needs to tell me this twice.
So yeah, I don't own Zelda. I probably never will. Bummer.
Many people said that home was where the heart was, but little did the creator of the expression know that not everyone had a home, and further more, some of those homes were broken to begin with. In Dark Link's case, he originally had a nice, comfortable home, but that turned out to be ugly once his master became frightfully obsessed with perfecting his wonderful "creation". Dark Link knew he was more than a creation, and why his master called him such? Dark did not know the answer. He knew he probably had parents. He did not remember his childhood. All he remembered was that face that haunted his dreams day and night: the angry face of his master.
And that was why Dark Link fled. He
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